


please save me

by sakusho25



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: John is a Bit Not Good, Kidnapping, M/M, Protective Greg, Protective Mycroft, Sad Sherlock
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:14:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26631220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sakusho25/pseuds/sakusho25
Summary: its been three years since he saw john watson last time he thought that it is all over for him but a kidnapping change sherlock's entire life once again.
Relationships: Mycroft Holmes/Greg Lestrade, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Comments: 8
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys i hope someone remember me hehe
> 
> a month ago my works here got deleted by mistake. so im trying again hope you guys like this one too please let me know

_dont ever show your bloody face to me sherlcok i mean it"_

i open my blurry eyes , same dream all the time it is stupid really. i should have been over this but for some reason it still haunts me like a plague. it has been three years since i came back from death, three years of hurt torture and pain just to save my friends and john. i knew the moment i laid my eyes on him i love him but he denies every time. i could never confess because if I've would have a chance i would have done it but nothing good happens to me ever

after i came back john punched me, my already bruised body could not take it but i did, tried so hard to tell him the truth but he was not ready to listen so i kept it all inside i hoped that he would have waited for me but when he married Mary i was left broken. i always wished that he would give me a chance but that never happened and never going to happen. i distant myself from them but once again john found me in the drug den he picked all the pieces just to smash them in the end like always. when mary shot me i was so sure that john will choose me but again i was left alone on the death bed looking from afar. he forgave mary for shooting me but he did not forgive me for bloody jumping for him why? no one can answer that when john blamed me for Mary's death i was ready for it when he hit me i took it all... but when he said that he don't want me anywhere close to his daughter i was crushed but i even accepted it as my fate like always.

i died for him, i lived for him, i endured torture fro him just for him to leave me in the end. sometimes all i want was to never wake up again so the loneliness will go away but it never did

my reputation, my job,my work everything was destroyed. no one comes to me anymore my website is abandoned everything i held dear to my heart got shattered in the end but im still alive

Mrs Hudson the lovely lady, left the flat. her last words were " _i cant watch you one more minute i wished you have stayed dead"_ i know that she was hurt and angry but to say those things to me was living hell but i know i don't deserve good things so i let it go now i live in baker street alone no one to talk no one to say im brilliant no one to hug me, nothing at all.

i got up and went to kitchen and look around i had removed all my experiments, all my data was with mycroft i cant do anything anymore i moved to the window i thought after some time john will come back to me but no john Watson my john Watson is going to get marry soon and i felt nothing anymore i'm too used to feel the pain, too used to feels unsafe, too used feels useless.

the only person who still tolerate me is Greg Lestrade he never stop believing in me, the only person who hugged me, the only person who still come to me. i don't eat anymore but Greg always bring food with him and feed me himself and for once i did not protest. he talk to me about everything about john, about Rosie and about _Annie,_ the woman who's going to be with john from now on. they met at a party and clicked instantly, Rosie adore her. within months john proposed her and of course she accepted it.

Greg told me all about it because he know that im waiting for someone who can never be mine... ever. sometimes i really wished that i was a normal person not a sociopath, not a freak, not a detective.... just William Holmes. just a stupid human because if being stupid means i can have john Watson in my life than i would be a stupid in a heartbeat.

but that all is in past i don't go outside anymore, don't meet with people anymore, i thought of moving away but then mummy will worry and i don't want that i already cause her enough pain. i don't ask mycroft anything anymore i don't want him to help me anymore now that mycroft have finally found Greg to love, that is the only good thing that happened when i was away at least now i know that my brother will not die like me _alone,_

_abandoned, helpless, scared, sad._

i promised john that i will not do drugs anymore when he was here and im keeping my promise. for some reason i did not develop ptsd in spite of that im waiting....waiting for one of my past enemies to come and finish me for good because i cant do that also. my mind palace in all i have left. in there im still with john the only place where i can feel him faintly and be happy that he love me the way i do

_only illusion only a dream_

i;m so tired i cant die, i cant sleep, i cant think, i'm left alone to fade in nothing and im so ready for it just please someone end it for me please if there is a _god_ like john said once, then please end it for me please i wont make anymore wishes, i wont ask for anything anymore i...promise.

i went back to my room john's chair is beside my bed i moved towards my closet and take out john's jumper he left it behind or more like forget about it the same jumper that he was wearing the day he met me the only thing of john that i have and ever will have. i pulled it close to my nose his smell is faded completely but still i can feel him i took a shuddering breath and look outside

_I'm a fallen detective who haven't slept since last three years, waiting for someone to come and end it because i don't know how to die any more._

_"please john....save me please"_


	2. Chapter 2

" _it's you who killed Mary Sherlock only you"_

i woke up with a start my heart beating widely and i looked around i'm still on my chair there is a horrible pain in my back but that did not woke me up

"Sherlock i know you are in there. now if you don't want me to come inside then please come out"

ahhh how can i forget every Monday before going to the met Greg comes to meet me and _feed_ me the only thing i eat now is the food he left for me even though i don't want to _i have to_

i hide my john's jumper and move towards the door and saw Greg sitting on the sofa there are bags in the kitchen so i went to him he looked tired, his eyes are bit dull because of exhaustion since i don't help them anymore it is lot harder for them to solve a crime that's what Greg told me but i know better than that

" _we don't need you in here freak"_

he looked up and smiled at me "hey i bring your favorite c'mon lets eat yeah"

i sat down by Greg as he was sorting through food and start feeding me "want to hold the cup by yourself lock?"

it sounded like I've become crippled but i cant hold anything anymore. the tremors in my hands got worsened the doctors said it's temporary but i know better i listen to Greg as he was telling me about the recent case but it do nothing to me anymore i don't feel the urge the adrenaline rush anymore im just _so empty_

he suddenly put the plate down "oh i forgot here.. this is for you"

he handed me a photo face down i looked at him and he just smiled at me "i've got to go lots of paperwork to do. i brought you food and some snacks so you don't have to cook but please eat something lock ok? because.....because if you don't i will take that photo back ok bye i'll call soon"

with that he left but i was still looking at the photo in my shaking hand as i turn the photo around a silent gasp left my lips its a photo of john _my_ _john_ and Rosie. i looked at her and saw how she has grown. she looks healthy and so pretty for a three year old. the last time i saw her was when she was a pink wrinkly baby now her chubby cheeks stretched so wide as she was looking at the camera she looked like john through and through then my eyes wondered to john 

he was laughing at the camera eyes closed and for one single second i imagined myself in there clicking that photo both of them smiling at me

_"stay away from me and my daughter Sherlock or I'll shoot"_

he was brought back in present when he felt wetness on his and he realized he was crying he kept looking at the photo how happy they look _how_ _happy_....he....he.... _moved_ _on_. his john finally moved on in his life he can smile so bright now, there are no bags under his eyes, no cane by his side, no tension in his body. _ohhhh how much it hurts to see him so happy without him_

in that moment Sherlock knew for sure that john Watson has killed Sherlock Holmes from his memories for forever and how sherlock wished that he could do the same but he cant, and then suddenly he saw that his hands were not shaking anymore they are still so still but his eyes are blurry he wiped his face and stood up he went back to his room and sat on the chair his but this time with the photo

as he was looking at the photo sherlock knew the answer to all his question. _even after john went away why sherlock stays here?_

because he thought that maybe john would be feeling as miserable as he is feeling but ts not true. _his so happy_

_why sherlock don't leave the country_? because he thought that john might want him someday but no _john has forgotten about him_

_why sherlock still love john?_ because he thought that maybe one day john will love him back but this photo answer all his questions in a minute

_john has moved on_

_john have great life now_

_there is someone who can heal john better than him_

_john love someone eles_

_he let them get close to his daughter_

_**"stay away sherlock"** _

and just like that sherlock knew that he is no longer and never will be wanted anymore this photo was like the last straw that he was grasping on. he got up and start packing his bag he doesn't have _anything_ much but he packed them he took out his phone and typed a message

_i need to leave please help me"_

message send he waited for a reply and looked around no more running away mrs hudson can finally come back and stay here he will not taint her house anymore. Greg dont have to waste his time on him anymore. mummy will not have to see his face anymore, and mycroft.... mycroft can finally breath a sigh of relief because sherlock holmes is nothing but a burden. now there is nothing that sherlock need not even death he just want to fade away. if john have deleted him then Sherlock will grant him that wish too he will go away. he looked down on his phone the photo still clutching in his hand

_"i will take you to Paris tomorrow pack everything"_

"


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock was ready to give everything up but then everything changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys thank you so much for liking this story. please let me know how you like it will make my day  
> once again thank you so much

_"that was the most ridiculous movie you've ever made me watch completely hideous" Sherlock looked at john who was laughing at his face since last fifteen minutes_

_"sorry Sherlock but you look so offended it was......." and again he burst off laughing making Sherlock's mouth twitch._

_after john calmed down Sherlock asked him "fate huh? who the bloody hell believe in that" john looked amused "those who believe in happy ending Sherlock everyone deserve a happy ending" he smiled and Sherlock's heart skipped a beat_

_"everyone?"_

_"yes everyone even you now come here and help me wipe this table off"_

Sherlock opened his blurry eyes for a first time in months, it was not the nightmare but a memory a _sweet dream._ he looked at his shaking hands

_no john not a happy ending for me huh?_

it was past 3 in the afternoon so he got up and dialed mycroft's number but he didn't pick up frowning he tried calling Greg but still no answer just as he was about to call Anthea Sherlock heard heavy but familiar footsteps he looked up just to see Greg looking concerned but frightened at the same time 

"Rosie Watson and harry Watson was abducted three days ago from the nearby park no forced sign, nothing. we were looking for clues everywhere but could not find anything then....then this morning this letter came at the office. don't worry myc is also there" Greg handed him the note which he took

_**hello Mr Holmes so good to see you i was waiting for you to come out of your cave but you never did** _

**_so i had to do it. now you do as i say or you will never see your precious daughter again_ **

**_go to the met and search for my next clue Mr Holmes or I'll shoot the baby in the head ._ **

"Sherlock breath please look at me" he look up at Greg but his mind was racing _no not this time i will not let anyone hurt my john ever again never my john deserve happiest ending this universe can give ._

_i will always protect you baby bee i promise_

"lock Sherlock hey lock" he shook his head and stood up and move towards the door "wait.. you ... are coming then?" Greg asked half terrified and half hopeful but Sherlock did not notice he has mission to do. so he just nods his head and opened the door.

"ok lock remember you don't have to answer any question to anyone ok , I'll be with you all the time" Greg told him which earned him a half smile as Sherlock went for the door but suddenly memories overwhelm him

_"c'mon Sherlock grab his hands"_

_"no you idiot don't lick that"_

_"Sherlock that was bit not good yeah"_

_"stay the hell away form me and my daughter Sherlock"_

_"brilliant"_

_"amazing"_

_"fantastic"_

_"go away or I'll shoot"_

"Sherlock deep breath look at me c'mon mate look at me you're safe you're with me Sherlock" suddenly Sherlock was jerked up from his memories. he can feel himself shaking, what the fuck was he thinking coming here after so many agonizing days. no he cant do it he....

_"I'll always protect you baby bee"_

"let's go back yeah? you don't have to do it we..." but Sherlock was not listening this is not the time to dwell on his memories no, his little bee is in danger and he will not let anything happen to her.

as they reach for the door Greg stopped him "please Sherlock tell me you'll be ok i...i" Sherlock took his hand and look at him and nodded Greg looked shocked but did not say anything and opened the door


	4. Chapter 4

there are not many things that can make Sherlock speechless but the look on john's face when he first time saw him in three years was...... _painful._ yes that's what it was, the deep blue eyes that used to look at him with adoration is now looking at him like he is the scum of the earth, like he is some sort of _freak._

"billy what are you doing here? i promise you I'll handle it yo......" Sherlock did not let him finish he just walked to his brother and hold his hand

Sherlock never thought that this day will come when he will touch mycroft willingly but since the moment mycroft saved him from Serbia and **_that_ _day_ **it was all different. the day john threatened him he was so heartbroken and was ready to end this all but mycroft came once again and saved him from himself that was the day when Sherlock saw his big brother, his myc after a long time

" _when i first saw you the only thing i wanted to do was to protect you from everything billy and i will die doing so"_

his brother never broke his promise the only person who love Sherlock with all his flaws. mycroft stopped talking and looked at him with worry but Sherlock just hold his hand tighter after what seems like hours mycroft nodded but stood close to him and turned to say something when Donovan and Anderson barged in "Greg this came for Sherlock" she said and gaped at him. well he cant blame her its been so long after all

"hello Sherlock you look like hell" she said with a small smile which he returned somehow but his attention was at the DVD which Greg put on. suddenly a man appeared wearing mask

hello Sherlock it is so nice to see you you look like a mess by the way" the man laughed and removed his mask. he seems to be in his late 40s crooked smile and black choel eyes looking at Sherlock with mirth the man moved to sit by the chair "i know you have so many questions for me but i won't answer any of them yet" the man stopped "i know you mycroft and john and his _soon_ _to be_ _wife_ are in the same room i'm looking at all of you and listening to all of you as well" the man smiled

"i don't want anything from anyone of them i just want you Sherlock only you" the man said he moved towards a room where Rosie and harry Watson was sleeping and he heard someone gasping "you see i haven't touch them at all as i said i only wanted you but you just wont come out" the man sighted and come to sit at the chair again "so this is what you will be doing, from this moment on, all of you will be staying in the office which Sherlock will going to lock from outside then you, my dear Sherlock are going to sit in the car standing outside and then we will begin and if any of you will refuse then I'm sorry to say Sherlock but this angel will die so give me your answer loud and clear baby i can hear you"

the video stopped but no one said a word Sherlock was trying to deduce the man but his mind was a mess his body is in immense pain and he can see everyone was looking at him "you don't have to do it billy i will call my team" mycroft said and he can feel john tensing behind him so he turned to look at him

he looks tired worried and scared his once blue magnetic eyes are dull now and they were looking at him like he knew what Sherlock's answer will be but what john does not know was that Sherlock is in love with him even after all he put him through Sherlock is still ready to die for him once again like always.

he looked around the room and find the camera in the far end and almost after three years Sherlock spoke his first words

"i...will....come!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry guys i recently lost my sister to this damn pandemic but now i;m coping somehow thanks for all the love guys i hope you like it. please be safe!!!

everything was silent for a while no one breath a word but then mycroft look at him with expression which says _you've really lost it this time_

"no sherlock holmes i will personally look into it but you will not move an inch please lock"

pleading mycroft was all sherlock wanted to see someday but now every word hurts. his brother should not feel weak, he is all sherlock have now he could not put him in danger. but sherlock have nothing to go on for, he was ready to move away maybe this is what fate wants him to do, sacrifice himself for the only man sherlock ever loved

"no.. myc he want..me not any...one else"

sherlcok can feel his throat screeching in protest after all he haven't talked in months. he looked at john who was complete white his eyes pleading but his stance defeating this is not his john no. he will fix this once and for all

"it..is.. because of me that jo.... mr. watson's daughter is in danger i will not let any harm come to his family please myc promise me you will not go out of this room please and ....then ....then i... i will go to paris with you promise"

mycorft was silent but he did not say anything just moved towards him and held him tightly rubbed his back just like he likes it only myc can touch him now no one else

"i'll be otay myc promith" _perfect_ this was all he wanted. his lisp come back too, what else is there to left maybe he should start crawling now

mycroft held him more tightly "please billy come back safe and then i will never let you go again okay" before sherlock can respond greg spoke " i'll help you darling maybe we can bubble wrap him huh" he come closer and held sherlock from the other side sherlock felt warm all over but he let go of them took a deep breath and starts to move away when a voice so distant so warm so hollow calls for him

"no...you will not go anywhere"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise to update more frequently and more long chapters hope you will like it i'm sorry for mistakes. thank you and be safe guys !!!!1


	6. Chapter 6

Sherlock looked at sally with disbelief never in his life he would have thought she would speak for him

"you stay here Sherlock I'll call the team the kidnapper didn't know we are here right?" her eyes were desperate like she is looking for a way out for him . Sherlock just smiled and shook his head pointing to the camera in the far end Sherlock didn't like the way entire room tensed around him he stood up and took a deep breath

"it's going to be fine the man is in his late 50 no matter how strong he is he won't be able to hurt me much the the way he lifted his brows shows that he is not interested in hurting the baby and woman he just need me it'll be fine"

its been a while since he made a deduction and it was not even a good one he missed so many aspects so many loopholes but he cant help it he is no longer the man he was before "do you need a gun Holmes?"

Anderson spoke waiting for a order Sherlock never thought that he will be talking to Anderson like a civil person "no he might not like the idea" Sherlock took a deep breath trying very hard not to stare at the corner of the room where john is standing he cant he wont "please will you be able to help them Mr Holmes?"

Anne clarkes soon to be Watson is exactly the way Sherlock has thought simple woman who fell in love with john and his daughter ready to get married but once again Sherlock is here to snatch that happiness away. the fear in her eyes are so raw that it makes Sherlock feel helpless but no, he need to save his daughter Rosie is very important to him even if he is no longer part of her life he never was

"do..nt" Sherlock cleared his throat it is hurting more than before after all its been so many months since he talk this much "don't worry ma'am i wont let anything happen to them this man ...he ...he want me they'll be fine. don't worry your daughter will be safe" Sherlock did not wait for a reply just turn around to face myc who was looking anxious but did not say anything he moved towards his brother and hugged him "be ready myc when i come back i need you to take me to Paris ok?"

"you better billy" mycroft tried to look stern but Sherlock can feel tension in his body he nodded at Greg and moved towards the door ready for the one last...

"do...you need help"?

_"_ _for the last time Sherlock we don't need 6 jar of honey"_

_"what? why not?"_

_"because we don't need them, now put them back you can have two"_

_"I'll finish them in a week"_

_"you wont remember they even exist"_

_".......i don't like you john"_

" _yep i know "_

_john look round looking for the pasta. he was already so tired after the recent case and now Sherlock is getting on his nerves he just want to go home and sleep but they have no food and Mrs Hudson is away so they really need to get the groceries. john turned around to see Sherlock staring at the toddler who was smiling at him while his mum was busy buying stuff. john was looking for coffee when Sherlock ran to him_

_"john"_

_"hmmm?"_

_"john its important"_

_"I'm listening"_

_"please john"_

_john turned to him Sherlock looked very anxious and john's protecting instinct got better at him he hold onto Sherlock's elbow while looking around_

_"what's wrong"_

_"the kid john"_

_"whats with him?"_

_"he has throat cancer first stage its not serious right now but it will be within a month"_

_john Watson was never this shocked as he was right now. the so called sociopath, the man who can deduce murder without a regret in his voice is concerned over a child he did not even know about. sometimes john really thinks that people are stupid to make this amazing man insecure about anything  
_

_"then why don't you tell her yourself" Sherlock look at him with "john don't be stupid" look_

_"she is a single mom and need all the support anyone could give, do you really think that I'm the best person for such devastating news i may be rude bit im not heartless you know"_

_Sherlock looked hesitant and a little sad like he did not expected this from john and suddenly john feels regretful "hey im sorry yeah i did not mean that cmon lets do it together yeah?"_

_it takes some times to convince the mum about her son's illness it was after Sherlock's brutal deduction that she believed them and ran straight to hospital but not without giving the biggest hug to them, Sherlock's face was priceless. as they finish their shopping and went to baker street the exhaustion was creeping up to john now he feel tired and sleepy. once they reach home as john was gathering the bags Sherlock got out probably to sulk in his room. john sighted and got out just to see Sherlock waiting for him with a smile on his that made john warm even in cold_

_"do you need help john"_

Sherlock got startled by the embrace his brother pulled him in "shhh....calm down billy focus on my breathing yeah? come on you can do it billy shhh"

as mycroft was talking he realized how quick his breathing is, how frantic his heart is beating _just a memory_ reduced him to a trembling mess _pathetic._ Sherlock wound his arms around mycroft and took a deep breath his eyes met john and his heart shattered in pieces his soldier, his love looked so pained that Sherlock was ready to go and hug him but he stopped himself _its not the time johns daughter is in danger_

Sherlock push mycroft away softly and moved towards the door not looking back

as Sherlock got out he realize the office was completely deserted. he moved towards the exit when he saw a back car, a man waiting outside open the door for him as he sat down he saw the man did not come inside the car but there was another man on the drivers seat just as he was about to ask where they are going he felt a prickle behind his neck and everything turned dark

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you guys like this please let me know thank you very much


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